March 19, 2012
Uh, no offense, but if this ad was actually true, wouldn’t a paying customer be in this spot instead?

Uh, no offense, but if this ad was actually true, wouldn’t a paying customer be in this spot instead?

March 16, 2012
The last thing most people who have toenail fungus want to be doing is staring at a billboard sixteen trillion stories high, and whipping out a piece of paper to write down the phone number. You may as well sticker yourself with a tag that says “HI MY NAME IS JIMMY TOENAIL FUNGUS”.

The last thing most people who have toenail fungus want to be doing is staring at a billboard sixteen trillion stories high, and whipping out a piece of paper to write down the phone number. You may as well sticker yourself with a tag that says “HI MY NAME IS JIMMY TOENAIL FUNGUS”.

March 15, 2012
Hate debt? Well, don’t use the money you still have to pay off your credit cards…use it to buy a bunch of other useless crap instead, via Interac! Win-win!

Hate debt? Well, don’t use the money you still have to pay off your credit cards…use it to buy a bunch of other useless crap instead, via Interac! Win-win!

March 14, 2012
Apparently one of the things you have to know for this Ocean Club ad to make any sense is that there’s a song called “Hands Up” by Ottawan with the lyrics “Hands up baby hands up” (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIeHhbXW9MI for evidence of some sort). What that actually has to do with an “Ocean Club” or a lakefront condo is anyone’s guess. In the meantime, those who have no knowledge that this song exists (which is probably, like 99.99% of the population) will think that this condo development is holding up this poor lady with a weapon, with the “Hands up baby, hands up” tagline spoken ala Pulp Fiction-era John Travolta.

Apparently one of the things you have to know for this Ocean Club ad to make any sense is that there’s a song called “Hands Up” by Ottawan with the lyrics “Hands up baby hands up” (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIeHhbXW9MI for evidence of some sort). What that actually has to do with an “Ocean Club” or a lakefront condo is anyone’s guess. In the meantime, those who have no knowledge that this song exists (which is probably, like 99.99% of the population) will think that this condo development is holding up this poor lady with a weapon, with the “Hands up baby, hands up” tagline spoken ala Pulp Fiction-era John Travolta.

March 13, 2012
Now I’m not saying anything about the movie itself here. On the other hand, if I was Wilford Brimley, I’d sue.

Now I’m not saying anything about the movie itself here. On the other hand, if I was Wilford Brimley, I’d sue.

March 12, 2012

"It’s crazy to love a yogurt this much" says the ad, but is it? The answer really is, well, it depends. If you love it so much you plan to mate with it and create a whole new super race of yogurt people bent on taking over the earth with their beneficial bacterial ways, then yeah, that’s pretty freaking crazy. Obviously some folks have already seen the dangers in this rampant yogurt love and where it will lead, as evidenced by this warning sign found nearby in the city.

March 9, 2012
Honey, grab the popcorn, The Movie Network is now FREE! FREE I tell you! It said so in their bus ads! I’m sure it’s free, it was the biggest word there! I ran right home to fire up the popper…no, I didn’t look at the ENTIRE ad but I’m sure they didn’t put any other qualifying words in a much smaller font…that would just be weaselly. Hey, what’s wrong with the remote?

Honey, grab the popcorn, The Movie Network is now FREE! FREE I tell you! It said so in their bus ads! I’m sure it’s free, it was the biggest word there! I ran right home to fire up the popper…no, I didn’t look at the ENTIRE ad but I’m sure they didn’t put any other qualifying words in a much smaller font…that would just be weaselly. Hey, what’s wrong with the remote?

March 7, 2012
I like a cheap meal but be very, very careful here - this streetwise dish may want to do you harm if you spend too much time looking at its chick’s legs. Dine with your eyes averted.

I like a cheap meal but be very, very careful here - this streetwise dish may want to do you harm if you spend too much time looking at its chick’s legs. Dine with your eyes averted.

March 6, 2012
Hey food marketing types, this tip’s free: when you’re trying to sell people on trying out your product, it’s generally a bad idea to do so with an image that makes them feel like vomiting. FYI.

Hey food marketing types, this tip’s free: when you’re trying to sell people on trying out your product, it’s generally a bad idea to do so with an image that makes them feel like vomiting. FYI.

March 5, 2012
Argh, I really hate it when I lose track of what’s fashionable these days. I’ve been wrapping myself in tin foil every day before going out but turns out I should be dousing myself in pink paint. Time for a trip to the Home Depot.

Argh, I really hate it when I lose track of what’s fashionable these days. I’ve been wrapping myself in tin foil every day before going out but turns out I should be dousing myself in pink paint. Time for a trip to the Home Depot.

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